Mr. Wrap is pleased to announce that he has been adopted as a new BFF by Gov. Jay Inslee.
It must be true, because the guv saw fit to announce the greatest single achievement of his first term in office — the signing of a truly non-remarkable state budget — in a personal email linked to what appears to be a never-ending campaign run from his website, jayinslee.com.
The budget, the celebratory note points out, should be viewed not for what it is, but for what it’s not: “ ... a vehicle for irresponsible, bad policy — like devastating cuts to essential services ... or dramatic anti-labor, anti-environment, and anti-consumer policy initiatives.”
“I’m proud of that — and you should be, too — because if you and I hadn’t held the line, that’s exactly what it would have been,” Inslee says.
It made Mr. Wrap feel not only proud but warm, fuzzy and touched by greatness. Nothing like personally sharing in the success of a newly elected governor. Especially when the vehicle is a personalized email that begins, “Dear Jim:”
More inbox outtakes:
Permanently Offensive Offense: Seriously, it’s not unusual for campaign staffs to crank out their own, um, product even after an elected official takes office. But it also feeds public cynicism that politicians exist merely to get re-elected. Maybe get back to us in four years when you’ve done something.
This Year’s Partial Fireworks Toll: An arm. A leg. A few fingers. Fourteen boats and a handful of roofs. Minor collateral damage for Americans’ God-granted, constitutional right to blow stuff up.
Seriously: What does it take to get a citation for discharging explosives in a city with a fireworks ban? A pressure cooker?
Leaked ESPN Wimbledon Tennis Championships Coverage Memo: Cameras assigned to Center Court action: four. Cameras assigned to reaction shots of players’ hot girlfriends in stands at Center Court: seven.
Here’s What We Wonder: Will those “warning shots” fired by a Chelan Falls property owner, in the direction of an Issaquah guy flying a parasail over his land, become known to historians as the first shots in a shootin’ war between diametrically opposed cultural forces from Eastern and Western Washington?
And Also This: Either way, a bit of an overreaction, no? Most east-siders seem to be gleefully content with ticking off wet-siders by simply shooting at various endangered species. And guys from Issaquah with too much free time hardly qualify.
Note to Leaker Extraordinaire (and Hotel-Points-King) Edward Snowden: If you’re reading this (and honestly, what else do you have to do?), some unsolicited advice: A true hero and patriot would fly home, face the music and convince a jury. Risky, yes, but also a demonstration of true commitment to your cause. Heroism is not for the weak-kneed.
Speaking of Which: More independent nation states that have now denied asylum to Snowden: Russia. France. Fremont. Ecuador. Italy. Point Roberts.
And Finally, Speaking of Weak-Kneed: Great courage shown by the Republican state Senate majority, proclaiming victory by defeating a transportation package that would build a vital new bridge link between Portland and Vancouver. You think the Skagit River bridge debacle was a financial hit? Multiply the tab by a million when some sleepy ship captain or truck driver drops one of those century-old spans into the Columbia.
Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org or 206-464-8280.
About The Wrap / Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.