If there’s a “Hoarders” division for the local news Emmy, KOMO-TV is a shoo-in.
Fans of salacious non-news will note that dogged KOMO reporter Jon Humbert triumphantly capped off his incessant stalking of obviously messed-up former Sonic Robert Swift by finally getting a camera crew inside Swift’s trashed Eastside manse to show just how messed up the guy really is.
Shockingly, the station’s
EXCLUSIVE video revealed copious amounts of empty beer bottles, old pizza boxes, holes in walls and — cover the children’s ears — dog poop on the front deck. All stuff KOMO just knew, knew, knew was going to be there as they camped on the front porch for days on end as Swift was evicted from his foreclosed-upon house.
That’s modern TV news gold, baby. And having reinforced, for a moment, its viewers’ self-assigned sense of moral superiority, the station now returns you to its regularly scheduled vapid programming.
Seriously, People: There’s
probably a worthwhile story in the fact that a kid who signed a
multimillion-dollar NBA contract straight out of high school wound up squandering his cash (The Times referenced it as well.) But that wasn’t it.
On to Some Real News: Facebook got another update. It’s gratifying to see more “personal touches” in the software scourge that has removed troublesome human contact from modern society.
For the Love of God, Folks: Everyone needs to stop picking on Boeing, formerly of Seattle, for this minor 787 battery snafu. It’s now becoming clear that the company paid a company to pay a company to hire a subcontractor to run some simulated tests on theoretical imaginary battery problems, exactly as required by the FAA. What more could anyone expect of them?
Call it the David Stern (Baby) Bump: Wonder if any of the local scribes clamoring to make sure Mayor McSchwinn gets proper “credit” for pushing a publicly financed NBA arena on an unwilling public noticed the mayor’s big
85 percent disapproval rating in a KING 5 poll — or the fact that only a third of registered voters see supporting an interest-free public loan to mega-billionaires as a positive attribute of someone seeking the mayor’s office.
Further Perspective: Comparing those numbers with an earlier Elway poll, almost twice as many local folks favor a big, fat gas tax and/or new car-tab taxes than favor four more years of amateur hour at City Hall.
Suicide, Still Painless: We understand that the U.S. Army has to be on guard. But this recalling to active duty of Hawkeye Pierce, Corporal Klinger and Walter
Eugene “Radar” O’Reilly after North Korea canceled the truce ending the Korean War just seems a bit extreme.
Cold, Hard Cash: A threatened snowstorm in Washington, D.C. caused momentary panic as lobbyists realized they would need to implement emergency plans to deliver several weeks’ worth of cash to their congressmen in advance, in case of closed roads or power failures.
And Finally: Mr. Wrap was happy to see President Obama, D-Let’s Dine Out, breaking bread with congressional Republicans at a swanky D.C. hotel restaurant. But why does it feel that, one way or the other, we’ll all be picking up the check?
Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at email@example.com
About The Wrap / Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.