In the news:
Family-guy office seeker has truly 'good reasons'
The Wrap by Ron Judd
Seattle Times staff columnist
Some people try to keep their children comfortably secure from the fray of electoral politics. Others are desperate enough to put them right out there on the front lines.
Into the latter camp falls gubernatorial hopeful Rob McKenna, R-Premera Blue Shaft, whose recent TV spot highlights his career as a crime fighter — one who suddenly specializes in violent crimes against wives and daughters.
The take-away line as bespectacled crime-fighting superhero McKenna struts in slo-mo, flanked by proud daughters Madeleine and Katie: "As governor, Rob McKenna will continue to protect Washington's women and children. After all, he has good reasons."
Implications: Only a father of daughters has truly "good reasons" to lock up violent criminals and sex offenders (who apparently only attack females). P.S.: That other guy, Jay Inslee, doesn't have any!
This Week: Inslee, flanked by his three sons, responds with his own gender-politics ad, touting his unique ability to show Washington state the importance of wearing an athletic supporter. "After all, he has good reasons."
More focus grouping:
By the way: Inslee, as we know from his own Insert-Family-Here TV spot, has a granddaughter. So if he does manage to get elected, at least all the state's females will have a once-removed shot at safety.
Cop Shop Slop: Bellevue Police Chief Linda Pillo apologized for the behavior of three apparently inebriated off-duty officers who reportedly berated an on-duty female Seattle cop outside CenturyLink Stadium last Sunday, insisting their boorish conduct "in NO WAY" reflects her organization. OK, so why do they still have jobs? Some of us remember when cops were held to a standard at least one level above drunken bleacher slob.
On the Cover of The Week's Chutzpah Illustrated: Numerous self-important college football coaches, including U-Dub's Steve Sarkisian, continue to throw conniption fits anytime a reporter dares ask legit questions about a player injury. Good; all the more time and space for real news, like coach's obscene salaries and morally bankrupt financial pacts with corporate beelzebubs like Nike.
Question of the Week: Why do the managers of the Puyallup Fair hate Puyallup?
Speaking of which: Inspired by the news of the ingenious Puyallup Fair name change, organizers of the Indianapolis 500 announced that the popular auto race will be re-branded as the Hoosier State Half Thousand.
He Writes the Songs, He Writes the Songs: A news release screams, "Barry Manilow is coming to Kent!" — he's the headliner at the Jan. 11 "Pandora Unforgettable Moments of Love on Ice," featuring Nancy Kerrigan, Elvis Stojko and other sequined ice-skating relics at ShoWare Center. Perhaps promoters can find some bad-ass off-duty Bellevue cops to patrol the perimeter for any attempted Tonya Harding incursions.
And Finally: Mr. Wrap thanks the many, many locals who have contacted the state Transportation Commission, or signed the new petitions at Bartell Drugs, to support the naming of a new ferry in honor of civic hero Ivar Haglund. Thanks to some helpful volunteers, an o-fish-ial submission to the state on behalf of this rapidly growing grass-roots movement will be on its way to Olympia shortly. Stay tuned.Ron Judd's column appears each Sunday. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org
About The Wrap / Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.