Finally, some bipartisan congressional action on a matter of vital concern to the American public.

Lawmakers from both sides of the aisle sprinted to open microphones to express shock, horror and outrage over the shocking revelation that Team USA's Ralph Lauren-designed uniforms for the 2012 Summer Olympics are made — like pretty much everything else — in China.

Next week: Congress is horrified to learn that one-third of the pansies in the congressional flower garden's "red, white and blue" Fourth of July display were actually purple.

Hearings to follow.

More feigned indignation:

Not-Getting-It Dept.: What's more telling about the uniform dust-up is the U.S. Olympic Committee's typically indignant, how-dare-you-criticize response. USOC spokesman Patrick Sandusky, noting that the U.S. Olympic team is privately funded and relies on the generosity of fat-cat donors such as Ralph Lauren, called the entire matter "nonsense" in a tweet.

Ah, the Bottom Line: You have to excuse Sandusky's fiery allegiance to big-bucks sponsors. The guy personally sucks up $400,000 a year from the USOC's nonprofit budget. He's part of a bloated USOC "leadership" cadre that paid itself $5 million in salaries in 2011, while many Olympic athletes worked night jobs to pay for food and electricity.

Buying Local: After the furor settled, a backtracking USOC announced parade uniforms for the 2014 Winter Games will be made in the U.S. by American workers. May we recommend Filson of Seattle? Heavy wool plaid and cotton duck cloth stand out in any winter crowd.

Almost Forgot The Week's Cheap-Page-Hits Item: Sonics arena financier Chris Hansen: Jesus, or Satan? Discuss.

Heaps of Shame: Lost in the kerfuffle over the Louis Freeh report on the outrageous conduct of the Penn State University administration in the Jerry Sandusky (no relation) scandal is the price paid to Freeh's firm: $6.5 million. For a little over half a year's work? That's Chone Figgins money.

Just UnDo It: Nice to see Nike, in the wake of the Freeh report, finally remove the late coach's name from the Joe Paterno Child Development Center (which, the last time we wrote about this, more than one person thought we had made up.) The building, on the company's Beaverton, Ore., campus, will now be re-purposed as the Phil Knight Center for Third World Labor Advancement.

Wishing Out Loud: If the NCAA had any stones, it would administer the "death penalty" to Penn State football. Has there ever been a more textbook, blatant example of "lack of institutional control?"

Unfortunately: The NCAA possesses no such thing.

Social Niceties Dept.: Self-proclaimed celebrity attorney and unflinchingly loyal Wrap reader John Henry Browne, emailing from some beach in Mexico, laments that his name has not appeared in this space for many weeks, and wonders if he has done something wrong. Of course not, buddy. We're just holding our water for the pending autobiography and Lifetime movie.

And Finally: A great response was heard to our plea from a few weeks ago to have one of the state's new "Olympic-class" (greetings, USOC's overpaid lawyers!) ferries named after local legend Ivar Haglund. Mr. Wrap will track the naming process and announce whom to share that enthusiasm with, and when.

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