What's in fashion lately? Oh, it's too much to bare
The Wrap by Ron Judd
Seattle Times staff columnist
Quite the tizzy over those two Washington Air National Guard members from Spokane who had the gall to pose in uniform while breast-feeding their infants.
Not sure what all the fuss is about.
They're probably refueling specialists. It goes without saying that when duty calls, the boom often must be deployed under less-than-opportune circumstances.
More double indemnity:
Spotted last weekend at a parade: Gubernatorial candidate Rob McKenna, R-Premera Blue Shaft, acting as his own float, walking and waving to the crowd — and wearing a certified pair of Mitt Romney Mom Jeans, with waistband alarmingly encroaching on nipples.
Questions About Above: Is this the new official GOP campaign dress (down) uniform? Will House Speaker John Boehner supplement his lucrative Sudden Tan deal with a Wrangler contract? Why does every candidate feel the need to look capable of squatting on the spot and milking a cow? Chris Vance or someone, please advise.
Next Week: Opposing guv candidate Jay Inslee, D-Gore-Tex, appears before the City Club in his patented TMI bike shorts.
If the Oink Fits: Speaking of summer festival season: What PR genius at US Bank decided it'd be a good idea for a big corporate bank to build a parade float featuring a giant inflatable pig?
Speaking of Mitt: Nothing screams presidential attention-to-detail like launching a new iPhone campaign app with a banner headline proclaiming: "A better Amercia."
Important Traffic Update: The 520 bridge will be closed this weekend (scheduled maintenance; construction-crew spring-break kegger).
The Week's Straight-Face-Quote Award: "This is an important issue to the American people, and our members feel strongly about it. That's why it's being brought to the floor." — Boehner, on the ill-fated bill to ban abortions based on gender of the fetus.
He's Tele-Pathetic: Seriously, how did Boehner know that issue was Topic A at every barbershop and frozen-foods aisle in the nation?
Meanwhile, in the Costco Booze Section: Thousands of Crown Royal customers picked up twice the usual amount of hooch to wash away the realization that only Washington state could find a way to privatize an industry, cut out various middlemen, and still manage to create higher prices for consumers.
Next Week on "River Monsters": Animal Planet freak-fish hunter Jeremy Wade takes a jungle boat up the Duwamish River in search of the elusive Two-Headed Long-Fanged Superfund Sturgeon.
Speaking of Slime: Lying, cheating, philandering scumbag John Edwards was acquitted of one campaign-finance charge and a mistrial was declared on others. His hair pleaded guilty to a lesser offense.
Slime, Part Deux: Edwards, unable to resist his own reflection in the lenses of various cameras outside the courthouse, declared: "I don't think God is through with me yet." Here's hoping that A) he's right; and B) he was referring to the Old Testament, vengeful one.
Krispy Kreme Kalendar: Friday was National Donut Day. Very heartwarming that people pause once each year to honor their local police officers.
And Finally: New York Soda Jerk / Mayor Michael Bloomberg, trying to promote healthy diets, is pushing a ban on the sale of mondo soft drinks. Just a guess here: The only way he'll be taking Big Apple residents' Big Gulps will be from their cold, dead hands.Ron Judd's column appears each Sunday. Reach him at email@example.com
About The Wrap / Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.