The Wrap / Ron Judd
In liquor fight, all those ads are hard to swallow
The Wrap by Ron Judd
Seattle Times staff columnist
We hate to think there's any truth to the rumor that college students have turned all those Initiative 1183 ads into a drinking game.
Each time an earnest-looking cop or firefighter appears on the screen, everybody takes a shot.
In any case, it turns out that faux public-safety fawning was just Phase One.
Now, desperate corporations that have long sipped the exquisite revenues of a legalized state liquor monopoly are pouring even more cash into ads — prepare for the irony here — accusing initiative supporter Costco of attempting to "buy an election."
Which — duh — they are. Just like every other participant in the corporate democracy a majority of us have so unwittingly embraced.
"Wall Street and other big corporations are watching," the voice-of-doom guy says at the end of the latest ad, "to see if our democracy is for sale."
Of course it isn't. That deal was finalized a long time ago.
Hope somebody kept the receipt.
More Orwellian moments:
She's On The Edge — Of Something: Plummeting presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann, R-Eyes of a Dingo, said she won't respond to a tea-party official's plea to drop out of the race until she has time to consult with her supporters, all of whom were waiting to be seated in a booth at a Cracker Barrel restaurant in Terre Haute, Ind.
Speaking Of The White House: A Los Angeles Times columnist raised the frightening possibility of Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz being drafted as the presidential candidate of the aspiring third party Americans Elect. Whoa. Is America ready for Vice President Clay Bennett?
BTW: Americans Elect plans to break new ground by choosing a nominee via a mass-participation national primary conducted entirely on the Internet. Dozens of fringe candidates are rushing to court to change their legal names to "Server Not Responding."
D.C. Gridlock, Cliff Notes Version: With a highly appropriate Turkey Day deadline looming, the congressional "supercommittee" appears to be deadlocked. Republicans — many of whom have signed oaths never to think for themselves — refuse to consider tax increases while Democrats — most of whom have to ask lobbyists before going to the bathroom — stand strong against cuts to social programs. Who could have seen this coming?
Viadoom And Gloom: A state Department of Transportation spokesman, noting that Thursday's viaduct-closure regional traffic jam "could have been even worse," serendipitously stumbled upon a permanent DOT slogan everyone finally can agree on.
Read. Weep. Repeat: In light of even more state budget cuts that will kick poor people off health care, slash higher-education budgets and jam more kids into classrooms, the Evergreen State has revised its official slogan: "Washington: Still At Least Half a World Away from Third."
Win Forever, Or At Least On Occasion: The "highlights" segment of KING-5's "The Pete Carroll Show" has been suspended indefinitely until the Seahawks produce another one.
And Finally: Sons and daughters of British monarchs now have equal rights to the throne, thanks to changes to the United Kingdom's succession laws. It's got to be a proud moment for citizens of the Commonwealth who have always yearned to be subjects of an equal-opportunity autocracy.Ron Judd's column appears each Sunday. He also writes Restless Native columns. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org
About The Wrap / Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.
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