Photography

JORDAN STEAD / THE SEATTLE TIMES

Actors Will Ferrell, left, and Zach Galifianakis pose for a portrait during a promotional visit for their new film, "The Campaign," on Thursday.

It's not every day I get sent to photograph celebrities. In fact, I hardly ever do. Yet, on Thursday, I was sent to photograph comic legends Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis during a promotional event for their upcoming movie, "The Campaign."

The assignment appeared relatively simple. Photograph the two actors greeting and serving coffee to lucky fans at a coffee shop in Pike Place Market, then head to a conference room at the Inn at the Market for a portrait in a more studio-like setting.

I arrived nearly two hours before the coffee event and found thousands of people already circling the block. After hurriedly parking my car in the underground lot at the hotel, I hoofed my studio lighting setup to the conference. I arranged my strobes to utilize a decorative waterfall as a background. I tested light with myself as the subject, left my setup plugged in and ready to go, then darted back to the coffee shop.

JORDAN STEAD / THE SEATTLE TIMES

Testing my lighting setup where I thought I would be photographing Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis at the Inn at the Market.

Nearly the entire length of the market was crammed with camera-toting fans. Inside the cafe, things got even tighter. Members of the media were confined to a small area near the serving counter. Zach and Will were supposedly going to enter from the outside, walk behind the counter, and begin serving coffee to fans.

An hour and a half passed. Roads were inaccessible. The cafe was past capacity. Suddenly, in a frenzy, the crowd outside began screaming. A minute later, Zach and Will entered from the back door. For several minutes, they fumbled with coffee dispensers and espresso machines, serving coffee to one fan. Just as suddenly as the event began, it was over.

JORDAN STEAD / THE SEATTLE TIMES

In a promotional event for their new film, "The Campaign," Will Ferrell, center, and Zach Galifianakis, far right, served coffee to people at Local Color Cafe on Thursday.

"We're still going back to the Inn at the Market, right?" I shouted at one of the public relations agents.

"No -- it turns out there is too much media after all. We're relocating to the Four Seasons just down the street," she yelled back.

My heart sank a little. My lead time, my light setup -- it was all in vain. I took off through the back of the cafe to dodge the crowd and sprinted down First Avenue to the new portrait location. I checked out the area, an isolated conference room, as other media outlets started taking turns interviewing the actors. My time with Zach and Will was drawing dangerously close, and the quick change of location still had me feeling unprepared. Yet there was something that caught my eye about the black table, a graphic pattern of glass and wood that made up the walls and these four green apples that sat in the center of the room.

JORDAN STEAD / THE SEATTLE TIMES

A quick test frame showing the four apples I wanted to use for the portrait at the Four Seasons.

It was our turn. Nicole Brodeur and I stepped into the room. I greeted both Zach and Will with a handshake, then began to assess the room as Nicole started in the interview. I lined up the apples, cleared junk from the table and relocated the furniture to clean up my photo's background, making the best of what I had to work with. I fired off two test frames at different shutter speeds to check out the balance of natural window light that came in from the right side of the frame. I settled at 1/200 and f/4 at ISO 1000 at 35mm on my lens.

The interview ended and Zach and Will looked over at me.

JORDAN STEAD / THE SEATTLE TIMES

Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis look up from an interview at the Four Seasons.

"Gentlemen, you thwarted my first portrait setup, but I think I like this look more. You two can do whatever you'd like, but I've got this American Gothic thing in my head and I can't get it out," I said.

They pulled up their chairs, looked at each other -- and in one simple motion -- turned up their chins and gave the wall behind me the 1,000-yard stare. I made two frames. Zach looked over at Will. I made another picture. As Zach looked back at the wall and began to cross his eyeballs, I tripped the shutter a fourth time.

"There it is," I said. "You're done! Thank you."

"What? No. There's no way. That's how you do it!" Will shouted while standing up and pointing at me.

We all shook hands again and headed out of the hotel, back to the office. As I walked, I went over the insanity of the last several hours. If there is a lesson from his story, it must be: Arrive early, make friends quickly and never underestimate the aesthetic qualities of four green apples.