What if other sports leagues had differing rules, like baseball does for the designated hitter?

"In the NFL, would they have four downs in the NFC and five downs in the AFC?" asked syndicated columnist Norman Chad. "In the NBA, would they have a three-point shot in the Western Conference and no three-point line in the East?

"In MLS, would they have a goaltender in the Eastern Conference and no goaltender in the West? (Hmm. I like that idea.)"

Headlines

• At Fark.com: "Not News: Man fathers 29 children by 16 women. News: One son is Dennis Rodman FARK: Father's name is Philander."

• At SportsPickle.com: "U.S. soccer team challenges Brazilian soccer team to a game of basketball."

Hold that line

Does Nick Saban have X's and O's for everything?

The Crimson Tide football coach employed two blockers to keep media out of the restroom while he did his business at SEC Media Days.

Great indoors

The Sioux Falls Storm topped the Tri-Cities Fever 59-32 to cap the first 17-0 season in Indoor Football League history.

Everyone cheered except the 1972 Dolphins.

Audible groan

Brett Favre — apparently retired from the NFL — will serve as offensive coordinator for the Oak Grove High School football team.

What's the record for changing a play call in just 25 seconds?

Mettle detector

Kobe Bryant said his U.S. basketball teammates should have their citizenship revoked if they don't bring home the Olympic gold medal.

"Hey, come up with your own material," said the Iraqi Sports Minister.

Talko time

• Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, on Pitt paying $7.5 million to the Big East tojump to the ACC: "The next time your alma mater asks for money, ask them if your donation is going toward paying ransom for league-jumping."

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on NASCAR suspending AJ Allmendinger for failing a drug test: "During his downtime, he stayed sharp by winning Stages 4 through 7 at the Tour de France."

• Missouri receiver T.J. Moe, during SEC Media Days, on the SEC being a tougher football league than the Big 12: "They also have prettier girls, the air's fresher, the toilet paper is thicker."

All-in

NBA jerseys might feature small sponsorship patches in two years, generating an estimated $100 million in additional revenue per season.

So what's next, stitching a Nike swoosh onto David Stern's wingtips?

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com