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'Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes': Been there, seen that
A movie review of "Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes," about a young film crew that heads off to a remote cabin in the woods in search of Bigfoot. Seen it before? Sure you have. And this horror flick has exactly nothing new to say, or add, to that threadbare horror cliché.
Special to The Seattle Times
'Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes,' with Rich McDonald, Noah Weisberg, Drew Rausch, Ashley Wood, Frank Ashmore. Directed by Corey Grant, from a screenplay by Bryan O'Cain and Brian Kelsey. 85 minutes.
Not rated; for mature audiences. Admiral and on-demand cable.
Say, have you seen the one about the young film crew that heads off to a remote cabin in the woods in search of Bigfoot?
Sure you have. Everybody has.
Cabin in the woods. Say no more.
And "Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes" has precisely nothing new to say, or add, to that threadbare horror cliché. Unlike, say, last spring's "The Cabin in the Woods," which turned expectations upside down and inside out, "Bigfoot" unfolds exactly as expected.
Four 20-somethings — a wiseguy director (Drew Rausch), his producer ex- girlfriend (Ashley Wood), his good-buddy cameraman (Rich McDonald) and a dweeby sound man (Noah Weisberg) — venture deep into the ferny forests of Northern California where dwells a mysterious old guy (Frank Ashmore) who claims he's got a Bigfoot corpse locked in a box. Wanna see, kiddies?
Faster than you can say "Evil Dead," they start hearing odd sounds — moans, snarls, thumps — coming from somewhere out in the trees. And then something starts clawing at their cabin's walls and pound, pound, pounding on their cabin door. Something big, and stinky.
Mr. Director Guy insists they film every second of their adventure, and faster than you can say "Blair Witch Project," we're treated to jittery found-footage close-ups of increasingly panic-stricken young faces. Oh, no! Oh, God! Oh ... aaaah!
See? I told you you've seen this all before.
If any of these characters were the least bit sympathetic, you might feel a twinge of empathy for them. Alas, no such luck.
Cookie-cutter characters in a cookie- cutter movie. You wonder why the people who made it bothered.
Soren Andersen: email@example.com