Originally published Sunday, November 13, 2011 at 5:30 AM

Haiku to amuse you until 'Breaking Dawn' arrives

Seattle Times movie critic Moira Macdonald rattles off some haikus while waiting for "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn," which opens Friday, Nov. 18.

Seattle Times movie critic

quotes Another Stinker, They should have called the movie, Breaking Wind, Fart One Read more
quotes Hilarious, Moira. Bravissimo! Read more


Note: "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn," the fourth of five movies based on Stephenie Meyer's blockbuster series of books, opens in movie theaters everywhere Friday. As those books are so very lengthy, it seemed strangely appropriate to reflect on the upcoming movie using the shortest literary form, the haiku.

So many pages.

Not just one movie but two

Where's dawn? It's still dark.

Does a werewolf keep

his shirt on for a wedding?

We're about to learn.

After the wedding —

broken headboards, heaving chests

and a big surprise ... .

Bella to Edward:

The honeymoon is over.

I'm pregnant. And: ouch.

Edward to Bella:

Damn! I should have kept it in

my vampire pants.

Everyone wonders:

The birth — how will it be staged?

Know: There will be blood.

Robert Pattinson,

weirdly glowing vamp next door.

Does he regret it?

Hey, Kristen Stewart:

Why does Bella always look

so very confused?

Well, I would be, too,

if my only choices were

bat-boy and wolf-boy.

I saw at "Eclipse"

grown-up women with red eyes

screaming for Edward.

(Have they never heard

of someone like George Clooney?

I think he won't bite.)

Four down, one to go.

What will happen in Part Two?

Imprinting. Talk. Blood.

News where, when and how you want it

Email Icon