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Originally published December 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM | Page modified December 29, 2006 at 11:32 AM

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An ode to movies | For better or worse, the year in verse

Draw near, dear readers, for it's time To toast the year in film — in rhyme! Let's gather 'round, all those who care, And ponder things...

Seattle Times movie critic

Draw near, dear readers, for it's time

To toast the year in film — in rhyme!

Let's gather 'round, all those who care,

And ponder things like Tom Hanks' hair.

"Da Vinci Code"? Well, let's say this:

Those dreary chases won't be missed.

Indeed, you could find much more pep

In one eyebrow of Johnny Depp.

His "Pirates" tale made mounds of loot —

But was it good? By now, it's moot.

(Somewhere, Disney's smiling proudly:

Four hundred million speaks quite loudly.)

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Elsewhere, on the comeback trail:

The Man of Steel — and Rocky, hail!

Daniel Craig turned up as Bond

He's tough, he's suave — and hey, he's blond.

"Poseidon" sunk, while "Jackass" brayed;

"Happyness" found Will Smith gray'd.

Critics raved as one, like sheep

For "Prada's" vixen, Meryl Streep.

And Oscar buzz abounds most keen

For Helen Mirren in "The Queen."

("Departed"? Oh, don't make me crazy —

You try rhyming with "Scorsese.")

Miss Scarlett blushed in Allen's "Scoop"

And "King's Men" caused our eyes to droop.

Will Ferrell charmed in funny "Fiction"

Though Emma T. had better diction.

(Indeed, it takes no effort small

To upstage Maggie Gyllenhaal.)

The "Dreamgirls" sang; the "Fountain" poured;

In "Good Year" Russell Crowe seemed bored.

Cruise clenched his jaw in "M:I 3."

Et "Marie Antoinette"? Oui, oui!

We watched Web buzz both wax and wane:

Hey, where'd you go, "Snakes on a Plane"?

"Borat," with bear, launched its strange journey

(The cast's reply? "Call my attorney!")

For kiddies, "Cars" was hard to beat.

That tapping sound? It's "Happy Feet"!

"Babel" babbled; "Bubble" burst;

In "Break-Up" Jen and Vince seemed cursed.

And should you doubt my jaded view:

Did you see "Basic Instinct 2?"

But let's have hope: Perhaps '07

Will bring us cinematic heaven.

So as the old year ends its run

Happy New Year, everyone!

Moira Macdonald: 206-464-2725 or mmacdonald@seattletimes.com

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