So what's next, the Mariners hosting World Series Night?

The St. Paul Saints independent-league baseball team — in conjunction with a regional atheists convention — will stage "A Night of Unbelievable Fun" on Aug. 10.

For one night only, the team will call itself the Mr. Paul Aints.

Hither and yawn

Snippet from Dwight Howard's daily planner:

"Even-numbered day?

"Rescind latest trade demand ...

"... check."

Bad Tidings

An Alabama sorority sister is suing the daughter of the Tide football coach, claiming Kristen Saban assaulted her in an alcohol-fueled rage.

But find just one witness who'll testify the plaintiff was wearing an LSU jersey, local wags warn, and no jury will convict her.

Latest buzz

In honor of Norman Sas, the game's inventor who died June 28 at 87, some great moments in Electric Football history, from TheOnion.com:

"1948: Sas designs the frustratingly shaky and uncontrolled movements of Electric Football players to provide the perfect foreshadowing of post-NFL life for most actual players

"1968: Three different players shatter the record for passes completed in a single game, with two.

"1987: First confirmed intentional touchdown."

Stat nauseum

"I'm sorry, but there are too many records in Major League Baseball," wrote Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald. "The other night a game was halted to announce a player just tied the mark for most stolen bases on a Thursday by a guy named Gary."

Some friend

Ex-Harvard triple jumper Samyr Laine will represent Haiti in the London Olympics, and here's guessing he got an online "like" from his former freshman suitemate: Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.

Talko time

• Larry Bird, via Twitter, on Kobe Bryant's claims that this year's U.S. Olympic basketballers could beat the legendary 1992 Dream Team: "They probably could. I haven't played in 20 years, and we're all old now."

• NBC's Jimmy Fallon, on Saints QB Drew Brees getting $60 million guaranteed of his five-year, $100 million contract: "That's even better than Katie Holmes' deal."

• Canadian sportscaster Paul Romanuk, via Twitter, before Andy Murray played in the Wimbledon men's singles final: "Good luck to Murray — British to the English if he wins, a Scot if he loses."

• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after Roger Federer beat Murray for his record-tying seventh Wimbledon title: "He has done better on grass than Willie Nelson."

He's back in the shop

Clippers forward Blake Griffin is out of the Olympics after tearing the meniscus in his left knee during a Team USA scrimmage.

Reportedly during a back-door cut — over the back door of a Kia.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com