Some days it doesn't pay to argue with the umpire.

"Dutch (Rennert) misses a play at first and I go running out," recalled ex-manager Joe Torre at his Safe At Home Foundation dinner in Los Angeles. "I say, 'Dutch, why are you such a good umpire behind the plate and so (awful) on the bases?'

"Dutch looks at me and says, 'Isn't that something?'

"I just turned around and went back to the dugout."

Rookie mistake

Talk about an embarrassing E-1.

The Diamondbacks' Trevor Bauer — after throwing his first big-league pitch against Atlanta last week — was instructed to toss the ball out of play so he could save it as a souvenir.

So he threw it into the Braves' dugout.

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: "Anthony Davis encourages young kids to work hard and grow 7 inches as a high-school senior."

• At Fark.com: "11 days ago, Aaron Hill hit for the cycle. Tonight he hit for the bicycle."

Waxing nostalgic

A wax figure of the Knicks' Carmelo Anthony was unveiled at Madame Tussaud's last week.

And immediately demanded a Jeremy Lin wax figure to give him the ball.

Unplayable lie

A 47-year-old woman was arrested for DUI in a Northbridge, Mass., after she blamed her GPS for steering her car into a golf-course sand trap.

Police figured she had to be drunk — or else she would've blamed her caddie for the errant drive.

Nailed

Former outfielder Lenny Dykstra faces up to 20 years in prison after agreeing to plead guilty to bankruptcy fraud, concealment of assets and money laundering.

Or as Dykstra apologists prefer to call it, caught stealing.

Talko time

• Gonzaga center Robert Sacre, to the L.A. Times, after getting drafted with the 60th — and final — pick by the Lakers: "I think it's going to be very similar to Ronny Turiaf's role ... play my butt off, shut my mouth, know my role and help Kobe get another ring."

• CBS's David Letterman, on the Knicks and Kim Kardashian sharing the same draft philosophy: "Take the best athlete available."

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on Hall of Fame QB Troy Aikman's ex getting a $1.75 million payment as part of their divorce settlement. "Probably the biggest hit he's ever taken in the pocket."

Bad Dog Dept.

Georgia tailback Isaiah Crowell, last season's SEC freshman of the year, was kicked off the team after police discovered a Luger handgun with an altered serial number under the driver's seat during a traffic stop.

So when the Bulldogs say they won't have as many weapons this coming season ... no kidding.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com