Ah, yes: It's the season of warm fuzzies

Who cursed at Santa at a fancy holiday feast? Which Christmas movie does the mayor watch every year? How did J.P. Canlis win over his future mother-in-law? Why didn't U.S. Bank President Ken Kirkpatrick eat a thing at his first Christmas Eve dinner with wife SaSa?

Because we're naturally nosy, and also too stuffed with leftover turkey sandwiches to think straight, we're doing a holiday-themed Merry Crazyberry Column today. (Chrismukkah is sooo 2003.) There's a quiz at the end, so pay attention:

• The Time With The Lavender And Fuchsia Polka-Dots, by Leigh Canlis: "J.P. was coming to spend his first holiday with my family. He had a carefully wrapped bundle with him. It was obvious that it was a handblown creation by J.P., but I couldn't imagine what it was. Finally, he told me he had created a pair of lavender and fuchsia polka-dot candlesticks for my mom. The most color my mom had in the house was the tan in the leopard pillows. I was worried. ... As my mom opened it, her eyes widened and I could only imagine what she was thinking. She pulled from this large box the most beautiful taupe and black candelabra I had ever seen. It was perfect. It was beyond perfect. She was starry-eyed. The rest is history!"

• The Time My Husband Didn't Eat The Fish Stew, by SaSa Kirkpatrick: "I'm full-blooded Italian, and for Christmas Eve dinner, we have cioppino, a fish stew. Our first Christmas Eve together, my husband was watching my family in horror as the men downed all the calamari from the cioppino, picked up the tentacles and threw them in their mouths. My family had just met him and they thought he was this big, tall, pink guy who wouldn't eat anything. Now, after 37 years together, he's the guy that eats it all, right along with them."

• The Time Everyone Fell And They Weren't Even Drunk, by Tamara Wilson of Wilson PR: "When we moved into our new home, I wanted to throw a big holiday party. We had only been there two months and the house didn't even have carpets or curtains. Turns out the front stairs were slippery as you entered the house. Eve Alvord and Martha Harris took a tumble, Kathy Casey slipped, I slipped, and this was all before anyone had anything to drink. It was like a slip-and-slide."

• The Time The Jig Was Up, by TuTu Time creator Dana Frank: "Every year, my uncle Richard Jones, the newly appointed federal judge, disappears after dinner and comes in dressed like Santa. Last year my daughter, who is 6, asked why Santa looked so much like Uncle Richard. This year, she said she is going to pay extra attention when Santa arrives and make sure Uncle Richard is present."

• The Time We Went Over the River And Through The Woods, by Stacy Lill of DeLille Cellars: "Growing up, Christmas always consisted of a trip for the entire extended family to my grandmother's house in Redmond. Everyone who dined at the table signed or drew an outline of their hand and created what looked like a turkey, complete with signature and date. It was fun each year to reread the names, dates or gestures people had written over the years. Dinner was the typical buffet of turkey, ham, mashed potatoes. The green bean casserole always seemed to make it in the mix, whether anyone liked it or not."

• The Time We Watched That Movie ... again, by Sharon Nickels: "We have now collected several of our favorite holiday movies for home viewing, so many that we tend to run out of time to see them all. We start with Bill Murray in 'Scrooged,' and then to several other versions of 'A Christmas Carol' with Mr. Magoo, George C. Scott and Alastair Sim. Then our favorite: 'It's a Wonderful Life.' We usually save it for last."

• The Time The Jane Yelled At Santa To Get Out Of Her House, by Lyn Grinstein: "Starting around 1974, my mother Jane Davis, known in the family as The Jane (we're talking formidable here), has been having a formal goose dinner a few days before Christmas. Around 2000, I decided the whole thing was getting a bit old, so I persuaded my husband [former Delta Air Lines CEO Jerry Grinstein] to dress up and surprise everyone as Santa. Just before we sat down for dinner, Santa burst into the room with a giant "Ho Ho Ho!" My mother froze. Instead of laughing or looking delighted (my plan), she shoved her way up to Santa and yelled, 'Who the hell do you think you are! Get out of my house!' "

And on that note: To all, a good night.

Girl About Town appears every Sunday in Northwest Life. Pamela Sitt: 206-464-2376 or psitt@seattletimes.com