In the news:
Here’s a golf feat Tiger Woods won’t be able to pull off for a few years
The Seattle Times
Old duffer? No kidding.
Sid Beckwith, 95, of Shelter Island, N.Y., has shot his age in golf 857 times. Beckwith, who refuses to use the senior tees and boasts 16 holes-in-one, carded a 95 at Gardiner’s Bay Country Club last Friday — on his birthday.
“Every time he has shot his age, he has had at least three people playing with him,” Bob DeStefano told The New York Times. “It has to be honest for him to enjoy it. This is not for other people. This is for his pleasure.
“I’m a golf pro, and I’m 74, and I’ve shot my age once — once!”
• At SportsPickle.com: “NCAA resolves antitrust lawsuit by giving each plaintiff a free copy of NCAA Football 14.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Nation disturbed by photos of Bud Selig in ESPN’s body issue.”
Honda engineers have unveiled a riding mower that goes from zero to 60 in 4 seconds, with top-end speed of 130 mph.
Well, that’s one way to cut through rush-hour traffic.
Hurts so good
Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips, calling his $72.5 million contract a “slap in the face” after teammate Joey Votto got a much bigger one, was last seen crafting his cardboard “Will Bunt For Food” sign.
Florida International football coach Ron Turner apologized after some of his players showered in the nude at a public beach last week after a team workout.
How soon before the first naked bootleg shows up on YouTube?
BD, phone home
What’s this — NBA player Baron Davis claims he was once abducted by aliens?
“Actually, Davis was relieved,” wrote Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald. “At first when he was grabbed, he thought he’d been traded to the Bobcats.”
“Although the Twins are 11-4 in Saturday games this season,” pointed out Charley Walters of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, “they’re 1-13 in Friday games.”
In other words, Saturday’s a weakday in Minnesota.
• The Heat’s LeBron James, after beating out Miguel Cabrera, Adrian Peterson and Michael Phelps for the best-male-athlete ESPY: “This is for all four of us, man, but I’m just keeping it at my house.”
• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after EA Sports erased ex-Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez from its Madden NFL 25 and NCAA Football 14 video games: “But you can catch him on PlayStation 3’s Prison Break.”
• Comedian Jerry Seinfeld, to WFAN Radio, not pleased with Mets fans booing during All-Star Game player introductions: “The American League is not the Taliban.”
• ESPN’s Peter Alliss, on golfer Hideki Matsuyama: “He’s a big man. You know, solid. I mean, his trousers are full of legs, aren’t they, and they’re not little spindly things in there.”
Twins closer Glen Perkins recorded two outs Friday night before realizing his pants were unzipped.
Guess he’s not a big fan of the infield-fly rule.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
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