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Silicon Valley view
Google founders eager to take users for a ride
San Jose Mercury News
Sometime soon, the Boeing 767 jetliner purchased by Google co-founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page for their personal use will make its first flight.
Those fortunate few on board might hear this over the intercom just before the plane pulls away from the new Google wing at Mineta San Jose International Airport:
Good morning. Welcome aboard BillionAir Flight 1.
This is your captain, Jerry Yang, speaking.
My co-pilot, David Filo, and I would like to start by thanking our fellow Stanford University dropouts, Sergey and Larry, for giving us jobs in the cockpit.
Yahoo!, our little startup, never stood a chance once Google got going, and we're grateful to have gainful employment.
In the seat pocket in front of you, you'll find a complimentary copy of BillionAir's in-flight magazine IQ. It was GQ, until Google bought it.
After takeoff, we'll be cruising at an altitude of exactly 31,415.93 feet. If you don't know why, you aren't smart enough to be on board. Please disembark now.
Our movie today — and the only movie we ever show here on BillionAir — is "Broken Arrows," a heart-warming story of terrorism, murder and magic financed by Sergey and Larry. You will enjoy it. Or else.
I'm now required by the Federal Aviation Administration to give the following safety instructions, because our aircraft is in beta and always will be:
In the event of a sudden loss of propulsion, look under your seat for the blue, red, yellow and green Google parachute. Place the straps around your shoulders, tighten the waist belt, jump out of the aircraft and press the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button on your chest.
In the event of a water landing, Sergey and Larry will have no problem walking for help.
In keeping with Sergey and Larry's preferences regarding security and privacy, our destination is secret.
Even I don't know where we're going, although I've got a hunch it isn't China.
When you fly, we know you have a choice of executive jets owned by self-indulgent Silicon Valley tech titans — Steve Jobs, Larry Ellison, John Fry. We thank you for choosing BillionAir.
Now please sit back and enjoy your flight. If you use Google, after all, you paid for it.
Copyright © 2006 The Seattle Times Company