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Friday, November 23, 2012 - Page updated at 03:00 p.m.

Movie review
'Jack and Diane': Tale of young lesbian love is a monstrous mess

By Roger Moore
McClatchy-Tribune News Service

"Jack and Diane" is a dour and downbeat young-lesbians-in-love romance that spares us those usual motion-picture viewing experiences — the occasional highs and lows. It's flat, with the inexpressive Jack (Riley Keough of "Magic Mike") putting the unromantic and unconvincing moves on the normally magnetic Juno ("Killer Joe") Temple, who plays Diane.

It's also just plain icky — all toilets and blood and hair and bodily fluids. And did I mention the monster?

"Love is a monster" is the movie's tag line. The supposed all-consuming passion of these two passion-impaired players has them fantasizing assaults by a gooey, gruesome beastie who devours them at random moments through what we will call, for want of a better word, the "narrative."

But, if you're the folks selling this, telling potential viewers that it's got "girl-on-girl action," Internet porn and a monster may not be a bad thing. There's a whole subculture of fanboydom whose eyes just lit up at that prospect.

Australian actress/singer Kylie Minogue shows up as a tattooed temptation for Jack. And every so often, we see the repeated image of long black hair growing out of grisly, red skin, braiding itself as it forms into a monster. Jealousy? Love's dark side rearing its ugly head? Very "film school, sophomore year" as a device, in any event.

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